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There I was, looking at her desperate eyes, while she found the courage to tell me the most terrifying chapters of her life. She was filled with shame and confusion, and I knew right there and then I would never see the world the same again.
My 14-year-old niece had just got here in US from Brazil. She was experiencing, depression, suicidal thoughts and struggling for her life, and we decided to take her in with a hope we could help. And I had no idea what was waiting on the other side. After long thoughts and lots of love reassurance, she found the courage to tell me that her uncle had being sexually abusing her from age 8 to 11, and she hated herself for it.
I was undone!!!
I spent the next 6 months trying to find justice, trying to find forgiveness in my heart, and most importantly, trying to get my niece the help and support she needed.
Meanwhile all the questions were pupping up on my head, like:
How in the world my sister did not see that coming?
How in the world a man, a family man would have the courage to do that to a child?
Why would she have carried it for so long without telling anyone?
How in the world was I supposed to deal with all this information and yet be able to parent her, now in under my care? She was a teen with all the hormones and all the history, and let’s be honest, that wasn’t the best combination.
So that’s when my journey to find answers started, and on this quest, I found out the scariest thing:
I WAS NOT PROTECTING MY KID’S ETHER!
My kids were 5 and 9 by that time, and I realized that even though I was doing my best, being the best mother, I knew how, staying home, doing home school for their first years and being a protective parent to the fullest, for my surprise, wasn’t enough.
About a year and a half later, I was ready to publish my book Super Agents Safety Squad, I wrote to educate parents and kids with a beautiful and bright message of Body Safety, hoping to help our parenting community out there to be aware of this danger, since 90% of the cases, according to CDC, is perpetrated by someone the child’s, or the child’s family knows, and at the same time we as a family were going through a really tough time with my 9 year old daughter.
Unfortunately, I found myself in the same spot, all over again.
This is no easy thing, to go as a parent! I wouldn’t wish it for my worst enemy.
For 3 years my daughter had been down a spiral with her mental health, also depressed and having suicidal thought. I had no clue what was going in with her mind.
One day when I was going though editing my book and I asked my daughter to come and read it with me and help with the grammar. But my real intention was really for her to read the message and open up with me, if there was something to be said.
Sure enough, she broke down in despair. She got so overwhelmed with emotions, she starts to scream as if she had a knife on her chest and couldn’t breathe. I can easily say that it was the worse day of my life. She finally confided that since she was 6 years old and a friend, 4 years older than her, would come over for play dates. Turns out that the girl would make her do things, sexual things with her, and she hated. All these years, the memories hunted her, and she felt dirty all the time, but she was too scared to tell, and by the way, that was exactly her words.
There I was, happy with my free time, while my daughter had a play date on the next room, playing with dolls and makeup, and I had no idea that what was really going on would almost cost my daughter's life.
Once she read the book, she realized I would not be mad at her, and she could actually trust me with it.
Little did I know that the book God put in my heart to write, with a hope that would help other kids not to go through what my niece had being through, it was the tool my own daughter needed to be set free and begin to heal.
I will leave you with this today:
Never take it for granted, acting in full confidence that you are enough to take care of them when it comes to this subject matter.
The fact is that it can come from the least place you could expect, and it will knock you down dead, because the amount of guilt and regret its almost unbearable.
The best way I found is: EDUCATE YOUR KIDS!
Educate them on this subject!!! I cannot emphasize this enough.
I trust and hope, all of you have a safe environment around your kids, but it's never too much to build one more wall of protection around them, empowering them to know what to do and have the trust they need to go ahead and share with you whatever it is they are going through.
Be alert, I will be posting every week tips and information that could help and add and support your parenting life.
Our kids are just too precious, and our job is to give them a chance to have a good and vibrant future full of happy memories.
If you would like to check out my book, please go to www.sasskids.com
It's also available on amazon and Barnes & Noble online.
Here are the links to make it easier for you
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